Tuesday, June 30, 2009

IMMORTALITY




Clumsy and disheveled, to see David Schoffman at work in his studio is to witness a stately scrimmage of a man struggling against the first principles of his nature. His meticulously crafted paintings are created in an unholy atmosphere of chaos and disarray. Costumed as a serf in tattered trousers and yellowed t-shirts stained with the vague remnants of sauces and solvents he brutishly tends to the alchemy paint with an infatuated frenzy.


Two years ago, (on one of my regular visits to Los Angeles to meet with my American publisher), I visited Schoffman and photographed a panel he had started that day. Last month, I returned to find him polishing the same piece into an anti- climax of completion. Clutching a cup of lukewarm coffee he sadly studied the finished painting, shook his head and hissed his disapproval.

I quickly snapped a picture.

Juxtaposed above are two states - from beginning to end – of one of the projected 100 paintings of The Body Is His Book.

At this rate, he will finish his project at the age of 160. Bonne chance mon vieux!

Monday, June 08, 2009

MOSES NEVER ENTERED THE PROMISED LAND







No one ever accused David Schoffman of possessing any undo discretion. To call him edgy would be to discredit whatever precipice is suggested by this hackneyed designation. His is not a world of academic transgression, commodified misbehavior or aesthetic misdemeanor safely enacted under the jaundiced jurisdiction of critical analysis.

David Schoffman is the unimpeachably uncompliant artistic insurgent, the proud solitary, scrupulously authentic subversive whose place in the artworld is as galling as it is secure.

I was reminded of this on my recent visit to his Los Angeles studio where the pains of unidle drudgery are evident in his obsessive refinement of his 100 Paintings series. What he is doing has simply never been done before. Not even Tintoretto’s San Rocco paintings reach Schoffman’s level of manic indifference to moderation.

A 100 paneled polyptych! What a stunt!

My competitive nature is tranquilized by the soothing confidence that he will never finish!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

TEST CASE

















The impregnable bliss of drawing was the subject of a recent study conducted by the New England Conference of Cognitive Orthography. Though laborious and broadly infuriating to most artists, the assembled scientists concluded that the wreckage incurred from the gruesome task of rendering illusions two-dimensionally were abnormally though not unfavorably effecting electrolyte rhythms.

The panel of researchers wired six artists to a systole displacer in order to track the impulse vectors of the sinoatrial node. They found that the brain, though disdaining most pains rather welcomed the atypical discomforts accompanying drawing.

David Schoffman was one of the participating artists and chose as his subject the traditional practice of drawing the nude. Though his QT levels were consistent with the other artists, his augmented limb leads, based on the standard European hexaxial reference system, were way off the charts.

The scientists reached the conclusion that the drawing of the unclothed resulted in an “inarticulate pleasure” unique, singular and myocardially unquiet.












Thursday, May 28, 2009

CONFLICT OF INTEREST

The San Francisco Bay Area art-collecting consortium Lysidas is one of the west coast’s most vigorous supporters of contemporary art. Chaired by Milton Edward of Goldman Sachs, this group of discerning visionaries has pooled their considerable fortunes in support of some of the best young California artists working today.

Having recently opened a Los Angeles office in Century City,
Lysidas wasted no time raking through reams of unsolicited disks and slides, acquainting themselves with the local lay of the land. Iris Tehila, CEO of Herodotus Systems and the longest sitting member of the Lysidas board was quoted in the Art Newspaper, remarking on the “…wealth of untapped talent, the nascent brilliance, the dauntless dexterous intelligence” she found in particular among Los Angeles painters.

They recently hired my scrupulously mercenary friend David Schoffman to guide them on May 30th through the galaxy of Culver City galleries during its annual ArtWalk. He will undoubtedly begin his trek in the back room of
DCA Fine Art at 5797 Washington Blvd where a cache of his very own works on paper will be prominently displayed.

Quel malfrat!









Monday, May 18, 2009

FLAGITIOUS TIMES





The life of many painters is buried in unease. Repairing daily to the devotions of the studio, tending the bitter, artisanal trade in solitude, the painter’s fatal meeting with self is a ritual of terror.

How David Schoffman remains so vacuously superficial is one of life’s great mysteries. A flashy, spry bon-vivant whose handmade shirts from Astor & Black and suits from
Warwick Hall betray a clawing refinement and a Galilean lake’s-worth of thin-skinned vanity.

His character does not square with his painting.

The same beaked promontory from where he clasps his cuffs come the most complex, poetic and moral pictures of our century. The image above from his “Body Is His Book” series is a miraculous excavation from the unplowed grit of our contemporary discourse. Its high seriousness is unembarrassed and unapologetic.

Will the real David Schoffman please be revealed!

Monday, May 11, 2009

ACADEMIC RIVALRIES


The faculty at L’Institute d’Art Chronique du Havre includes such luminaries as Zeno Peter, Frank Lazarelli, Claudine McAuliffe, David Shaar Yashuv and Monique Manet. David Schoffman and I have lectured there on several occasions, both together and individually. I think we both agree that as art schools go, L’Institute is better than most.

They recently staged a most novel and unique exhibition. While hosting the cumbersomely titled Fourth Annual Symposium on Contemporary Commentary and Dialectic, they asked all the invitees to spend 20 minutes drawing their colleagues. The results were an eccentric compendium of radically divergent notions of both drawing and portraiture. Each of the 284 participants submitted a work that was ultimately hung at the Institute’s Goddard Gallery.

The show was called Non Possono Disegnare from the Jacko Barbu song of the same name.

Schoffman’s rendering of critical theory professor Louis Versuchend and me is posted above.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

INFLATION




Humphrey Delmore, theatre critic for the Sussux Mail recently quipped: “Good drawing is like bad sex. Both are unconsummated exertions.” He went on to name his three favorite contemporary draftsmen.

Terry Bodoya, known for her mural sized watermelons rendered in tar, Alfred Leslie whose portraits en grisaille stirred a skeptical generation weaned on abstraction and David Schoffman.

Reviewing the recent survey of 21st century works on paper at Ribald & Tiles, Delmore described Schoffman as a “peripatetic visionary whose nomadic aesthetic defies classification.”

Personally, I find it relatively easy to describe Schoffman’s drawings:

Comme Ci, Comme Ça.”

Friday, April 17, 2009

Las Cuarenta y Ocho Estaciones de ´Extasis


At the risk of appearing to be a hair-splitting contrarian, a feisty old effigy desperate to animate the embers of a lost eminence, I take issue with Dahlia Danton’s recent revelation concerning Micah Carpentier’s 48 Stations of Ecstasy.

With briny assurance she claims to have happened upon the original copy of Carpentier’s famous chapbook. What she saw in Havana was most certainly a specious facsimile.

The original, handmade copy of Las Cuarenta y Ocho Estaciones de ´Extasis is nesting in a flatfile in David Schoffman’s incorrigibly lambent Los Angeles studio. It was given to him as a gift shortly before Carpentier’s death and has been available to scholars for years.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

THE STONES OF MAHAVIRA







Dispersed throughout the icy floor stones of the Mahavira Monastery in Ko Kong, Cambodia, lay the most peculiar images of the Buddha in all of Southeast Asia. This 10th Century architectural puzzle, situated on the western bank of the Kah Bpow River narrowly survived both the relentless American bombings as well as the bloodletting purges of the Khmer Rouge.

To walk thorough the dim halls of the monastery, lit only by the rusty glow of
scented handmade candles, is to walk through an enchanted and innocent past. The serene, almost otherworldly atmosphere is transforming.

After half a dozen visits and countless hours of interviews and documentation, David Schoffman has completed his film about the Buddhas of Mahavira. Recently screened at the Boina Film Festival, it was awarded the Égout d’Or.

Below is a short clip.



Friday, March 20, 2009

SOAP OPERA





An unusual call to duty forced David Schoffman to suddenly drop everything and hop on a plane to Davos, where, waiting for him on the tarmac were Ambassador Terentius and his improbably fetching bride Nita. Whispers, suppositions and scuttlebutt have always provided a tattling basso continuo whenever Nita Terentius and David Schoffman were linked, the ligaments of lechery follow Schoffman like a late evening shadow no matter who his accomplice might be, but in this particular case the prattle was especially scurrilous. The Grand Opera Company of Davos’ production of Handel’s Tamerlano was scheduled to open on February 28th. The Terentius’ were heavily invested in the success of the production, in part because they were secretly backing it under the cover of the Centre d'Etudes et de Recherches and in larger part because Nita had been commissioned to design the sets.

The day was approaching and Nita was clearly over her head.

Remembering that years back Schoffman had done a torpidly received series of drawings based on the theme of famous suicides, he was summoned to offer his input. Rendering Bajazet’s demise with greater tact was of particular importance.

He saved the day and received no credit but when photographed at the opening gala sharing a toast with Terentius whose copious décolletage was exquisitely governed in a charcoal Monique Lhuilier, the International Herald Tribune ran the picture with the caption “Life Imitates Art As Cosi Fan Tutte Outshines Tamerlano At Davos Premiere.”



Tamerlano Study No. 27
2009






Thursday, March 12, 2009

CHEBSHI OR SCHOFFMAN



On most nights from a small fishing village nested on the southern spine of Turkey, half way between Antalya and Mersin, a lighthouse can be seen with a faint flicker of yellow light illuminating the small room cupped beneath its aging crest. With grave indifference, Sevket Serbes sits hunched over a weather beaten oak worktable painting meticulous patterns on stiff muslin sheets.

He calls these patterns “chebshi,” an Eteocypriot word that roughly translates as “spent seed.” Over the course of forty years as keeper of the Acik Kapi Lighthouse, Serbes has painted over seven hundred chebshi paintings. They cover the rounded walls of his priapic home like an hallucinogenic gauze of unperturbed madness. The effect, upon seeing this riot of color and detail, is that one is in the presence of something frighteningly strange and urgently important.

David Schoffman, in a recent BBC interview mentioned in passing that he had once seen a black and white reproduction of the Serbes Chebshi and that it may have informed his work in some oblique way.

David Schoffman is a liar.

In 1981, Schoffman and I were on our way from Tibilisi to Ephesus in an asthmatic two-door, Zastava Koral when we stopped in Tarsus to join some Italian college students on a Mediterranean day cruise. We docked at the Acik Kapi Lighthouse for a light lunch and a tour of Serbes’ paintings, a common destination for tourists at that time. Schoffman was mesmerized by the works and whispered to me (we were in our 20’s at the time), “Malaspina, je volerai ceci tient des idées et il me fera célèbre.”

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

LITERATURE





The publication of Melissa DeTourney's recent critical tour de force
David Schoffman: Subverter of Grave Horizons represents a significant contribution to the already bloated sub-catagory now known in our graduate programs as Schoffman Studies.




In her new book, DeTourney, associate professor of semiotics at Coglihn University in Newgrange, argues that Schoffman’s early close reading of Becarrie’s Amoureuses Volcaniques marked a decisive realignment of his aesthetic objectives. She further insists, and here she differs with both Obé and Castel, that Schoffman’s Body Is His Book: 100 Paintings is a shill for an occult and far more complex body of work based on Duchamp’s Étant donnés.

At a recent signing at Seattle’s Tall Order Books, DeTourney was physically assaulted by a disturbed young painter and puppeteer who strenuously objected to what he called “the cultish clique of Schoffmanerites.”

Friday, February 20, 2009

SCANDALO



Marina Samuela Carati, one of Italy’s most respected art collectors, recently commissioned David Schoffman to paint her portrait.

David Schoffman never paints portraits and never works on commission.

Last month, David Schoffman made a spectacular exception.

For twenty-one consecutive days, Schoffman, working from his suite at the Hotel Zurigo, just a few blocks from the Duomo di Milano, drew 250 preparatory studies of his courtly and statuesque subject. Patiently, for 10 to 12 hours a day, Carati submitted to David’s exacting demands. She stood, twisted like a ribbon in classic contrapposto; she sat like Agatha of Normandy, regal and serene, trundled in silks and small fluffy cushions; she reclined with the half-smile of a pliant maja wearing nothing but a garland of gaudy counterfeit pearls; she leaned chastely against a full-length mirror, her eyes cast downward, staring blankly at her open-toed velvet slippers; she tied ropes around her ankles and dangled gently from a towel-rack; she posed in all the available postures and when those were exhausted, she drew deeply from her native carnal melancholy and assumed an ingenious array of unconventional positions with the precision of a seasoned Bhangra dancer.

Marina Samuela Carati has never been known for her spontaneity. To friends and colleagues alike she is thought of as a decorous, dignified, even stiff grande dame, despite only being in her mid-forties. After her month as the hapless prop for David Schoffman’s lurid pencil, Carati has suddenly discovered her pulse. At a recent early evening cocktail party at her nine thousand square foot Sardinian summerhouse and to the utter astonishment of her assembled guests, Carati exhibited all 250 drawings.

The Italian press is still picking the bones of this most delicious scandal.









Monday, February 02, 2009

BREAKING FAITH





More photographs, stealthfully snapped in David's studio are surfacing in Europe. The Italian magazine L'Animo Mio published the pictures above with a caption that read: "Under-appreciated in his native country, David Schoffman is something of an icon here in this part of the world. His series of 100 paintings, The Body Is His Book, remains incomplete, mysterious and inaccessible."

I wasn't at all aware that David was under-appreciated in the United States. To listen to him one would think they minted a coin with his image on it, named boulevards and hospitals after him, made his studio into a shrine and closed the banks on his birthday.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

THE VEIL OF SECRECY







David Schoffman is as reclusive as a prairie dog in winter, a solitary artistic egghead, an introvert of the first order. In our thirty years of friendship, I’ve visited his studio maybe a half a dozen times. He is famously secretive about his work. To see his paintings, one must wait for his intermittent exhibitions.

To follow the progression of his ideas one must rely on rumor. One such rumor circulating recently is that Schoffman has embarked on a singularly impractical project of such quixotic magnitude that most agree will never see the light of day. I am referring, of course, to the bizarre compendium of small paintings collectively known as “The Body is His Book.” It has been reliably reported and confirmed elliptically by Schoffman himself in an 2005 interview in ArtContext that the plan is to complete 100 pictures using only a double zero kolinsky sable paintbrush.

Sean Van Belge, the former Sotheby’s intern whose infamous tell-all memoir “Branding and the Credulous Collector: My Life in the Art World,” earned him the ire of just about every human involved in contemporary art, recently snuck into David’s studio posing as a UPS delivery man and snapped a few hasty pictures. The photographs above, originally published in Missile, appear to add credence to at least some of the speculation.

Monday, January 12, 2009

CLUES




In the spring of 1985, David Schoffman disappeared. By some accounts, he was missing for 18 months. According to other accounts he was sighted twice during that period of time, once on the Saronic island of Salamina and once in Barcelona where he was spotted playing a dangerous drinking game at a bar called Panchitos.

By all accounts, his absence suspiciously coincided with the disappearance of Fayette Lombardi, an art student who regularly attended David’s lectures at the San Francisco Art Institute. Fayette was a highly regarded performance artist whose senior thesis had something to do with prolonged sunbathing while covered with stenciled quotations from Lord Byron.

Today, Lombardi is a news anchorwoman at WKIA in Indiana City and has recently published a memoir titled “When I Was Naked”, about her years as a “near-professional extrovert.”

The unattributed drawing above appears among the book’s many illustrations with the caption, “Here I am, in post-coital repose, drawn by a friend, during my ‘lost years’.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

PRAGUE





My infrequent trips to Prague are almost always unpleasant. I find the beautiful cityscape bleak, cloying and quaint. The intersecting chimneys that line Kaprova Boulevard reflect a sickening sapphire light that tint the clouds with dread. Lazarska Street, where common life bustles with resignation is like the filthy tail of an elegant animal. And the much-admired view from Strelecky Ostrov is simply a postcard from Purgatory.

The one shining light, the landmark that makes any trip worthwhile is the small, smoky jazz club across the street from the Mustek metro station known to the locals as Veleslavina’s. Every Thursday night the place is packed to hear Guido Tocca’s resplendent redefinitions of polymodal chromatism. This cat can play.

I am bitterly envious that the cover art on Tocca’s last CD’s is a painting by my friend and rival David Schoffman. Schoffman has a tin ear and such primitive tastes that his idea of good music are bands like the Sonora Seven and Darba.

I recommend to any serious listener any and all of Tocca’s discography. My personal favorite is the 2007 recording “Dazzled by Dawn: Live in Antibes.”

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


what once I was, and what am now



With John Milton turning 400 and with the popular noise of the deadly swarm having far from abated, David Schoffman has returned to Samson Agoniste for guidance and inspiration. As a Nazarite is separate to God so too is David to his art. His childish optimism still pictures his work as the seal of silence that corrects the world. As a bondslave to painting, he spends his light in his cramped atelier, far from what Milton called the “daily fraud.”

What a fool to think the sun is speechless beyond his studio walls. What arrogance to assume that upon drawing his tools he has made himself exempt from our collective culpability. His adamantean nobility is ill-fitting and ridiculous. His work is simply not that good.

What! You think I should dull my spear just because his wife just delivered a son?

Monday, December 08, 2008

THE SONGS OF THE HEART





David Schoffman's beautiful bride, a magnanimous and sublime woman whose many virtues highlight her husband's dim pessimism is on the verge of birthing a child. I find few things more sensual than the naked body of a woman in full fecundity. I flew in from Paris for two reasons.


One, to initiate litigation against my former dealer Byron George of the now defunct New York gallery Sardanapalus Modern and two, to draw David's darling mate in her lovely morning dress.


Tempests come and go but the hushed air that precedes birth is a cherished field of bliss.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

TWENTY-FIVE FOOLISH DOLLARS




In Auvers-sur-Oise, 35 kilometers northwest of Paris, there is a quirky little shop called Prix Bas et Maladroit which seems to sell just about anything. On one trip I bought a stuffed dove, a bottle opener in the shape of a sperm whale, an American style toaster and a cassette tape of Jean Gabin reading La Chanson de Roland. The whole assorted hash cost me less than 50 euros.


David Schoffman’s 400 Drawings is an untamed orchard of exquisite invention. It’s a drowsy mix of refinement and anarchy where no two drawings are alike. And like my favorite shop in Auvers, everything is ridiculously under-valued.

I’m afraid that this new venture represents the first full sobs of David’s madness. He is numb both to reason and to sound business practice. Twenty-five American dollars is what a family spends at Starbucks for a coffee and few croissants. It’s what parking used to be at the Bibliothèque Nationale before they raised the price. I spend more each month on late fees at Visuelle, my local movie rental place.

But as we say in the Midi, "ce n’est pas mon pâté!"