ROCKN' SCHOFFMAN

It may seem unlikely but my good friend David Schoffman was the proud custodian of a highly respectable singing voice. For a time, as a child, he even received professional training from the legendary Austrian voice coach Kira Gammelfleisch. While a student in the 1970's, he earned extra money singing light opera with the New England Chamber Society. He even entertained the possibility of turning professional but saw greater commercial opportunities in painting and drawing.

When I met David over 35 years ago he was the resident tenor in the a capella trio Shirley's Kitchen, a sort of "anti-Ramones" throwback intended as a critical poke at punk rock, the prevailing popular music among artists at that time.

Shirley's Kitchen (from left to right Schoffman, Joey di Sevilla and Armando Khan)

Together with Joey di Sevilla, or Joey D, a childhood friend of David's from the old neighborhood in Brooklyn and Armando Khan who went on to write the outrageous musical theater phenomenon "Khan Khan Boys," Shirley's Kitchen had a small but devoted following.

In 1980 they recorded "The Frolic of your Smile," an EP containing 7 original songs, one of which, "Let's Toss a Bit of Rice," went on to become the theme song of the now forgotten Harold Bisquit Comedy Hour from the Friday night line-up on the old NBC. 

In the land of Serge Gainsbourg and Johnny Hallyday, this would be inconceivable but there appears to be enough middle-aged, sentimental nostalgic interest in some parts of the U.S. to justify a reunion of this pathetic coterie of unembarrassed kitsch peddlers.

Shirley's Kitchen, backstage before their February 14th concert at The Golem Theater, Bakersfield, CA

  

That Schoffman has taken time off from his painting is an oddity in and of itself. That he is subjecting himself to the indignity of coaxing his parched, raspy voice into spirited reprises of minor hits like "It Ain't Fish I'm A Smellin'," "Baby I Got It ... And So Do You" and " I Have High Regard for Baudrillard But Lost My Nerve With Kierkegaard," is a shameful exercise in childish frivolity, acute narcissism and prolonged adolescence.

I just wonder what kind of deranged groupies these guys attract.